skittlesdiangelo: i wanna be where the people...
i wanna be where the people are
p0ndorica: p0ndorica: sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich
onoasa: jeffersonstarshipshavethetardis: okay so we know about jesus when he’s a baby, and jesus when he’s an adult, but does the bible ever mention his rebellious teenager years? ‘jesus, go feed the donkey.’ ‘yOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER’ the ground shakes a little, and a voice comes down from the sky ‘do what your stepfather says you little shit’
HAVE YOU EVER JUST REALLY WANTED TO KISS SOMEONE BUT YOU CANT
Is this emotion called happiness
ayeleesh: when you see your reflection on your laptop screen and you just look
vulcanist: spock blushing green more like just go ahead and throw me off a building
fortylinestare: reading fanfic is so stressful cos no matter how great a fic is there is always something that doesn’t fit in with your headcanon and then you have to pretend you didn’t just read that sentence
oomshi: stop fucking flirting with my crush do you want to die omg
inzayned: when you can’t hear what someone says and they repeat it 98 times and you’re still like
pockytardis: my favorite thing is when someone’s in the shower and you just hear a distant BANG BANG BANG CRASH and you can tell they knocked over like all of the shampoo bottles
Reblog if you lick or bite your lips, a lot.
robertoluongo: in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
Person in book: I'm not pretty. I'm average looking. People never really notice me.
Person in book: he's unattractive but has got beautiful eyes
Movie industry: no, we're hiring supermodels
peevesies: i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
ohyousillypotato: what i’m looking for in a man: will lend me his hoodies good sense of humor is a cutie patootie will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood good taste in music
dysphorism: paleslut: paleslut: that one day when you think your period is over so you dont wear a pad or a tampon THIS IS NOT THE POST I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED FOR BUT HOW ACCURATE IS THIS
people who make you feel bad for liking what you like are the worst kinds of people
morristibbs: IF SOMEONE IS SCARED OF SPIDERS OR BUGS DONT FUCKING PICK ONE UP AND WALK TOWARDS THEM WITH IT YOU ARENT FUCKING FUNNY YOU’RE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE